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Smokin' Obama

ESPN's Bill Simmons opines on the Democratic candidates for president:

Still reeling from Hillary's comeback in New Hampshire as a huge underdog Tuesday night. Amazing. I'm leaning toward voting for the Clintons (and really, they're a package deal) for three reasons:

1. They've been in the office before and made all their mistakes the first time around. Shades of Belichick learning from his Cleveland days. This time around, at least we know they'll take over the office with a game plan instead of limping through that first "What the hell am I doing?" year that seems to happen to every new president.

2. I miss Bill Clinton and want him back in my life on a regular basis for comedy and entertainment purposes. The thought of him closing down some hotel bar at 2 in the morning by telling two floozies, "How'd you ladies like to come back to the First Man's suite for a nightcap?" is just too good to pass up.

3. Obama smokes cigarettes. I can't get past this. Should the president be one of those guys who tells his staff, "Hold on, before we discuss this terrorist attack, lemme sneak outside for a butt"? Also, smokers are predisposed to telling white lies because everyone's always trying to get them to quit, so they're always saying stuff like, "Come on, I only have one or two a day," when they're really sneaking off behind garages and getting up at 2 a.m. pretending to get a glass of water and then plowing through a butt in 30 seconds. That makes me nervous. I don't want my president to have a life built around white lies. Unless he's totally open about the smoking ... then it's OK.

Does this mean Obama won't be campaigning as much in Wisconsin? Doesn't he have to pay a lot more for his smokes with the new tax increase that just went into effect? Looks like Governor Doyle ended up penalizing the candidate he endorsed.