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Favre Retirement Secret Uncovered

Well, we finally figured out why Brett Favre was crying so much at his retirement press conference: because he had heard I was going on TV to murder his legacy.

Here 'tis:

Some of this rhetoric may be familiar to this blog's readers, as I shamelessly ripped off a couple lines from a previous post. But this was really short notice, and I thought they were decent points, and... I'm not a machine. Wait - who am I arguing with here?

The late notice of me going on is actually demonstrated with the length of my hair, which appears to make my head lopsided. I look like I'm hosting a telethon for people who desperately need a haircut.