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I'm Married to Lynndie England

This cold weather has been tough on all of us. But I just realized how hard the cold has been for those who don't have a voice. The ones who cry in silence. Namely, the plants in my house.

My wife was going around watering the plants on Saturday. They're all wilted and pathetic looking. I told her how cruel it was of her to just barely keep them alive throughout the winter. Basically, it's akin to waterboarding them. My house is now officially the Abu Ghraib of spider plants: