Child for Rent
Little did I know that part of the package deal would be that I would also have to do the grocery shopping with my little man it tow. It occured to me that I haven't actually been grocery shopping since I got married six years ago. Until now, I just put stuff on a list, and it just miraculously showed up in my refrigerator.
So the boy and I went to Woodman's today, and I was completely lost. Seriously, if I were ever elected to anything, there would be a horrifying George H.W. Bush is-out-of-touch scene, like when he went to a grocery store for a photo-op and had no idea what a scanner was.
What I didn't realize, though, is what a ladies' man my kid is. Every woman that walks by gets a giggle and a "hello." He makes funny faces just at the right times. In fact, the girl at the checkout area said she recognized him, and he helped her take all the groceries out of the cart.
Naturally, it wasn't entirely perfect. Being with a 2 year old in a grocery store is like being with a wolverine in a phone booth. He managed to rip open a box of cereal bars and throw my keys into a freezer of frozen pizzas.
But I'm throwing the offer out there to single guys - you can take him shopping, and you're golden. The only price I ask in return is that you actually keep him until he's 12 years old.