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How Did I Miss This?

While the media in Wisconsin continue to hyperventilate over Johnny Depp being in our state for two days, they are missing other major national stars passing through. Apparently, the remaining "Bret Michaels: Rock of Love II" contestants were in Milwaukee yesterday.

Steve Hyden of The Onion AV Club has the details:

Here’s how not to feel like a loser: Don’t hang out at a jewelry store on the edge of Milwaukee and wait nearly 30 minutes for three reality TV “stars” to show up for a meet and greet. Apparently, 99 percent of humanity already has learned this lesson, because I was joined by exactly six other people at Robert Haack Diamond Importers on Thursday to meet Ambre, Jessica, and Destiney. The trio was in town to appear at a series of promotional events culminating in a Rock Of Love bash at one of the preeminent meathead bars downtown. I hate crowds, so I opted to spend a few awkward moments at a sparsely attended, early afternoon event at a depressingly dingy diamond store. It was a perfect metaphor for the show, which pretends to be flashy and glamorous but in reality is kind of dirty and unseemly. Of my six compatriots, three were Robert Haack employees, one was a security guard, one was a slightly sheepish-looking dude in his 20s, and one was an excitable and unapologetic female fan in her 30s. When the girls finally rolled in for the 1 p.m. event at 1:30, Excitable Lady quickly pounced, her orgasmic glee barely concealed despite predicting just a few minutes earlier that Daisy would beat out these tramps for Bret Michaels’ affections.

How did I not know about this? My one chance at meeting REAL stars.

I would bet that after they left, sales of steel wool and Clorox went through the roof. Someone has to scrub this town clean.