Hey Derrick, Wanna Come Back? No Hard Feelings, Right?
I've had several hours to settle down since Eric GaHGHne* blew his FIFTH save this season, but I'm still steamin'. School isn't even out yet and the guy we're paying $10 MILLION A YEAR to throw one inning of shut-out ball once every three days is a disaster. Our man Derrick Turnbow is probably sitting at home right now organizing his sock drawer mumbling to himself, "I could be losing all those games for you guys at a third the price."
Anyway, Eric Gagne must pay for for his crime of attempted homicide of the Brewers' playoff hopes. In the spirit of the punishment fitting the crime, I submit that Eric Gagne:
a.) be mauled by a bear, but not fatally mauled.
b.) be trapped in an elevator for 41 hours.
c.) be forced to compose a handwritten letter of apology to one random Brewer fan for each save he blows. Enclosed in each letter will be a check for $1 million dollars. (At this rate, he's broke before the All-Star break.)
d.) give his healthy ACL to Yovani Gallardo. Gagne's removed ACL will be replaced with a discarded noodle found outside an Olive Garden.
Please vote or add your own idea. It'll make you feel better.
*("GaHGHne": copyrighted May 2008, Shuffhausen Industries)
Anyway, Eric Gagne must pay for for his crime of attempted homicide of the Brewers' playoff hopes. In the spirit of the punishment fitting the crime, I submit that Eric Gagne:
a.) be mauled by a bear, but not fatally mauled.
b.) be trapped in an elevator for 41 hours.
c.) be forced to compose a handwritten letter of apology to one random Brewer fan for each save he blows. Enclosed in each letter will be a check for $1 million dollars. (At this rate, he's broke before the All-Star break.)
d.) give his healthy ACL to Yovani Gallardo. Gagne's removed ACL will be replaced with a discarded noodle found outside an Olive Garden.
Please vote or add your own idea. It'll make you feel better.
*("GaHGHne": copyrighted May 2008, Shuffhausen Industries)