The Legend of Butterbeard
What I figured out tonight, however, is that a beard is completely incompatible with eating corn on the cob. The family grilled out tonight, complete with steak and corn. And by the end of the meal, I believe half my food had nestled comfortably in my facial hair. I wiped my face with a napkin, thinking that would do the trick. But an hour later, I actually had to go into the bathroom and shampoo my beard in the sink to get the smell to go away. (At the time, my two year old son was doing his Beavis and Butthead impression while trying to go potty, and he stopped to look at me, as if I was the weirdo.)
Incidentally, the beard will be making its world debut on the "Here and Now" show this week, but it has yet to decide what it wants to talk about. What I do know is that the beard is already being difficult, demanding the TV set be catered with corn on the cob.
UPDATE: Savvy commenter reminds me of this video. And it all comes full circle.